Through the Grapevine
by Gnomeish
Summary: Harry has a terrible secret that he hasn't shared with anyone. So, he is extremely shocked and horrified when Snape confronts him with its discovery. Slash, if you pretend really, really, really, really, really hard.


Author Note: Don't even ask. I haven't a clue myself. Enjoy. I don't own this or anything so yeah. I own my cat. I payed for him. That's about it.

sothenIwaslikeyeahandenjoytheshow

Harry had noticed Snape staring contemplatively at him for the past few days. Harry was frightened. What if Snape knew his big secret? It was illogical, of course. He had hidden his secret SO WELL from everyone else. Not even Ron or Hermione suspected anything.

But then again, Snape had always been illogically mysterious, so Harry wasn't all that surprised when Snape cornered him in the hallways after his last class. He was, however, still terribly afraid of what Snape was going to do with him.

"So, Potter" Snape drawled, looking down the end of his rather large nose at Harry.

Harry gulped. He wasn't sure what Snape wanted with him, but the deranged look in his eyes made Harry's heart sink.

Snape stared down at him with an even greater intensity than before, and slowly opened his mouth to speak.

"So, I heard you like Mudkipz."

Harry blinked, disbelief and anxiety etched on his features.

"Uh.. what?" He said, blankly, hoping Snape would just go away.

"I've got my deck right here." Snape said, holding up said deck, which was placed in a small glass box. "Your mudkipz against my Horsea. Winner... well.. can choose his reward."

Snape raised an eyebrow in challenge, and Harry found himself numbly responding to the affermative.

"Good. Get your deck and join me in the room of requirements in twenty minutes." Snape said, sweeping away.

'Well, well...' Harry said to himself. 'Who would have thought...'

Harry shook himself out of his stupor and jogged off to the Gryffindor tower, where he secretly snuck his deck of Pokemon cards out of his trunk and headed off with the map to the room of requirements. To his surprise, the door was already there, so he turned the knob and opened it.

Inside was a comfortable looking room in blues and blacks, with a warm fireplace and two nice looking chairs, between which was a large table with the advanced pokemon card play mat.

Snape was sitting in the chair to the right, and Harry quickly slid into the chair on the left.

"Standard rules. Six prizes with a final prize for the game winner. Shuffle your deck."

Harry and Snape both shuffled their decks, before taking out seven cards each and putting the next six cards as prizes.

And then, the game was on.

An hour later, and both were sweating. The game was challenging, with both of them having water based decks. The mudkips Harry was so fond of were struggling against Severus's Horsea, and Harry found himself desperately wishing for the last evolved form of mudkip. He knew if that he just got it before Snape managed to find his Kingdra... he could win the game.

Harry drew a card, a sweatdrop rolled down the end of his nose and he wiped it off with his sleeve, before flipping the card over.

He tried not to wince in dissapointment. Another energy card, damn. He looked down at his active pokemon. It was the mudkip with the least HP. He knew he had to save his strongest for last. Half-heartedly he attacked Snape's Horsea, knowing in the next turn another of his beloved mudkips would be sent to the discard pile.

Sure enough, Snape drew a card, and to harry's horror, evolved one of his horsea on his bench into a seadra! He then attacked with his active pokemon, taking out Harry's mudkip.

Then it was harry's turn again. He bit his lip and drew a card, and tried not to squeal in excitement. He had mudkips evolved form! But he still had no clue where his third form card was hiding. He quickly evolved his highest hp'd mudkip with a silent sigh of relief, and attacked Snape's horsea with a vengance.

And that was how the next few minutes went, until both combatants had only two prizes left. Snape frowned slightly and seemed to be contemplating, before he took out Harry's last mudkip. Now he only had one pokemon left! Triumphantly Snape took his second to last prize, but Harry couldn't tell if he had gotten a good card or not. Damn that man! With trepidation, Harry put his evolved mudkip in the active pokemon slot and attacked Snape's Seadra. The ugly little horse had less than 30 hp left now! On emore turn and he had Snape!

But then, horror of all horrors!

"Nooo.. noo no no no..." Harry said, putting his head down in his arms in despair.

For Snape had just evolved his seadra into Kingdra, and with one last attack, it was all over.

Harry sobbed bitterly into his arms. He had lost! No! What was snape going to do to him? He remembered the ultimate prize...

anything...

Oh the horror!

Accross from him, Snape smirked.

"Well, well, well potter.. I guess we'd better get started..."

And Harry could only look at him in fright

The next morning, Harry, face slightly red, slunk down to breakfast and sat at the table on the other side of Ron.

Ron grinned at him and stuffed a peice of bacon in his mouth.

"Hey mate! How's it..." He began, but Harry interupted him with a shout.

"I"M AT UR TABLE, EATIN MY BREAKFAST."

Ron blinked, but shrugged his shoulders. "Alright then."

And there were no more outbursts until Hermione joined them ten minutes later. She took the last of the bacon off of the serving platter ( a good deal of it) and Harry reached over and snatched two slices off of it.

"Harry, what..."

"I"M IN UR SPACE, STEALIN UR BACON!" Harry shouted, causing people around him to laugh.

"Well, yes.. I saw that..." Hermione said, frowing. "What's up with you today, Harry?"

"I'M UNDER A SPELL, ACTIN LIKE AN IDIOT"

"What?" Hermione said. "Who put you under a spell, and why?"

"I'M IN UR POKEBALL, STEALIN UR MUDKIPZ!" Harry said, looking at Hermione exasperatedly. One of the enchantments Snape put on Harry meant he wasn't able to tell who did this to him, and would instead spout out random idiotic phrases.

"Harry? ... you can't tell us, can you?"

Harry shook his head and tried to cover his mouth with his hands, but it was too late, the spell had caught up with him.

"I"M IN UR SUPERMARKET, SNIFFIN UR MELONS!" He shouted, causing many people who heard it to laugh.

Harry looked mortified.

"Will this happen any time we ask?" Hermione said, ever the intuitive one.

Harry nodded, and of course blurted out another phrase. "I"M IN UR CEILING FAN, LICKIN UR DUSTS"

Hermione, to his delight and gratitude at first, then eventually horror, spread the word, so now only people wanting to hear him say ridiculous things... oh hell... everyone was coming up to him and asking him who had done this, and he could only respond with odd phrases such as:

"I'M IN UR CLASSROOM, DEFILING UR CHALKBOARD" (When he had to write on the board)  
"I'M IN MY SEAT, SAYIN SUM STUFFS." (When asked in Charms)  
"I'M IN UR BASEMENT, EATIN SUM HAM!" (In potions, when Snape pretended he knew nothing)

And so on and so on. He would also blurt out what he was doing in the same form. "I"M IN UR HALLWAY, WALKIN TO CLASS" and "I'M AT MY DESK, POLISHIN MY WAND" Which earned a few sniggers.

Harry's curse would end right after dinner though, to his immence releif. Snape discreetly waved his wand at Harry and the spells dissapated, and Dean, who had just asked Harry who had done this to him, was dissapointed when Harry only answered "Wouldn't you like to know?"

When dinner was over, Harry walked out of the great hall only to be stopped at a command from Snape. He turned around, wondering what the man wanted.

"So, Potter... how about a rematch?" He raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure when I win this time, I can think up a more.. .interesting.. reward for myself." He stared down at Harry.

Harry just raised an eyebrow, and they both headed their different ways.

Two days later, the entire castle was wondering how Harry Potter had learned to billow his robes like Snape, but he wasn't divulging the secret.

He would just smile secretly and say "I owe it all to my Mudkipz."

THE END.


End file.
